Ireland Awarded 2023 Rugby World Cup As France Stripped As Hosts
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France have been stripped as hosts of the 2023 Rugby World Cup in a dramatic turn of events this morning.
The French Rugby Federation (FFR) were awarded hosting rights to the competition last year, beating off competition from original favourites Ireland and technical recommendation South Africa.
In an extraordinary series of events, Ireland have now been named as the new hosts, with World Rugby releasing an official statement:
“After much deliberation we’ve come to the conclusion that France are pretty much a pack of gowls.” A statement read
“Bernard Laporte is an absolute chancer, who couldn’t come with the cash he promised us for awarding France the tournament.”
“We were promised a big fat brown envelope, but all we got was a few stale croissants and an Aldi bottle of wine.”
“Ireland meanwhile have given us all the money they made off the water charges and have promised to to add a “temporary” RWC tax under their “temporary” USC tax on all payslips, with World Rugby getting 90% of the proceeds.”
“It just goes to show Ireland really is the “perfect destination” for the 2019 Rugby World Cup, that most certainly “ticks all the boxes” in terms of the relevant criteria outlined in the technical review, commissioned by our bank managers.”
Ireland are now set to begin preparations for the massive media backlash when they manage get dumped out at the quarter final stages, despite being tournament hosts.
Reports suggest they are set to bring in Stuart Lancaster and former Rugby Football Union (RFU) director Rob Andrew as consultants. Scouting has also begun in the NRL, with a Sam Burgess-like convert being sought out, so they can heap all the blame on him.*
*This entire article was a (poor) April Fools’ joke. If you didn’t find it funny, fair enough. If somehow, you are offended, they we suggest you leave internet and never return again. Alternatively you can call the snowflake hotline and air your grievances.